Patient or Patience

"You're waiting on a miracle" my doctor replies.
I nod through my tears, wiping at my eyes.
He gives me a referral to a specialist doc,
I leave his office numb from the shock.

"I need to talk to you," I text my Dear.
Dreadfully I share what we don't want to hear.
Our lunch is spent in tears and embrace.
My heart aches, longs to erase

The long, lonely years of empty arms.
The painful smiles and put on charms
For others more fortunate and blessed.
Who got their baby with little distress.

The comments and suggestions unsolicited came.
The painful remarks, pointed fingers of blame.
The ignorant and uneducated speaking "wise"
All these and more brought tears to my eyes.

Now I stand at a moment of choice.
I sit and pray quietly, seeking His voice.
I pray for His comfort and strength
To guide me down this path of great length.

He will not fail me, He will not leave me.
Thou I must not doubt, I put my faith in Thee.
Give me Hope as I try to know Thy Will.
Patient or Patience, in my motherhood quest to fulfill.

Magic Ears

I got Magic ears this weekend! No, I didn't get Mickey ears or any ears at Disneyland.

I got Oticon Agil hearing aids! I was born with a hearing loss and after my last pair broke a couple of months ago I've been wanting to get some that are Bluetooth capable. Let me tell you some of my hearing friends and family have said they want a pair after hearing the cool things I can do.

Here's brief description of what I can do:

With the streamer a tiny instrument the size of the iPod nano hanging around my neck, I can talk on the telephone with the phone in my pocket and no have to remove my hearing aid for a traditional headset. I hear it through my hearing aids!

Techy Toostie can listen to her iPod without earbuds.

I can tune into the TV at my desired volume and the output others hear is at their comfort level.

I can tune in to the movie theater.

I have the capability to turn into FM frequencies.


The ear pieces are clear and the piece that wraps behind my ear is the color of my blonde hair. I've never been self conscience of my hearing aids because function is more important to me than fashion.

I'm still "playing" with my new electronic gadgets. I'm so happy. I wanted to tell all my dear readers that Christmas came early for Tootsie.

Love you all. Happy and hearing. Tootsie.

For those who know

To my readers who know: today's been a really good day! Thank you for your love and prayers. Hugs, Toostie

One of my avid fans mentioned how much they missed my posts. I must admit I've missed my writing muse. I think today's post will be dedicated to a beautiful niece who sent me a beautiful thank you for a series I introduced her to. She loves to read! Aunt Tootsie couldn't be happier about that! If I could only have one hobby. It would be reading. Thank you sweet niece for your sincere gratitude and for your maturity beyond your age when you explained how you were sharing the legacy of the series with another. I can't tell you how many books you will read that will be life changing. I've come up with a few of my very favorite.

The Book of Mormon
The Pearl of Great Price
The Miracle of Forgiveness
Jesus the Christ
To Kill a Mockingbird
The Alchemist
The Hidding Place
Is Chelsea going blind?
The Places You'll Go
Ender's Game

What makes your favorite list?

Summer is Splendid

I love summer! I love the heat of the desert! I love the fruits and vegetables that are so plentiful! I love being in the sunshine! The pool! The outdoors! This is a wonderful time and I'm embracing it! I just wanted to share my excitement with my readers!

They haven't tried the obvious

This is probably one of the few times you will read Tootsie's opinion on world matters. I have a deep love for the Gulf Coast particularly Pensacola, Florida. I love that beautiful, peaceful place. In the five years I lived in Florida this place brought happiness, peace, pensive moments and for a time, romance. It pains my heart to think that it may not be the beautiful, white sugar beaches of "squeaky" sand. I love explaining to others unfamiliar with this soft, soothing, luxurious sand that the grains of sand are rounded and thus "squeak" when walked upon. Sure, it sticks to you like sugar, and like sand universally, ends up in places that are uncomfortable, (read eyes and bathing suits) but oh the beauty of this beach!

The tragic accident of April 20 has forever altered the lives of countless individuals. My heart goes out to all who lost loved ones, lost livelihoods, and land. In all the news of how to stop the continuous flow of oil from the floor of the Gulf, they haven't mentioned the one thing that just might work.

Prayer.

To those who scorn my "naivety" I say, God created this earth. He controls it.

This nation "under God" was founded by men who believed in a Supreme being. I believe that all men have the right to worship how, where or what they may. I believe in God the Father. He created all things and all things are in His control.

If the people of this nation would humble themselves and admit that they alone can not stop the flow of oil from this broken well; perhaps God would grant the prayers of the righteous who want the livelihood and loveliness of the Gulf Coast to be spared, healed where damage has been done, and thrive once more.

I've been praying that those working on this problem would be inspired that they would find success if God willed it. I think it's time for the people of this nation to raise their voices to God and admit that they can't do this thing alone. God wants those who follow Him to be humble. We of this nation know disaster and hopelessness, yet we've selfishly left God out of our solutions. We don't want to invite Him to help us because then we just might find ourselves indebted to Him. We might have to let go of our selfish tendencies. We might have to admit to ourselves that we are nothing without Him.

It pains me as the days go by that there has not been a call to pray. I know that there are many in the Gulf Coast states who are praying, they too, believe as I believe that God does hear and answer prayers. I know this because I've seen the strength of these faithful individuals. It is time that those in position of leadership humble themselves and organize a day of prayer. A day of humility before the God of this earth. A day of uniting and praying that He will stop the flow.

Perhaps He won't. Perhaps the Almighty God of Heaven and Earth wills otherwise.

There will be those among the unbelievers and weak-hearted believers that will jeer and jest at my suggestion and even the possible failure of such a proposal of prayer.

But to all the God-fearing, God-loving people who believe as I do, I ask, "What is the harm in trying?" Sure, the answer may be no. But God will know those who humbled themselves before Him. We will know that we tried to humble ourselves, petitioning for His help. We will know that we stood for what was right among the unbelievers.

To all my fellow believers, it does not matter to me the name of the Supreme being you pray to, He is the same. I ask you, please let us humble ourselves and make it known that we wish to invite God into the solution. I pray that He will hear and answer our collective prayer, that the beauty and liveliness of the Gulf will be spared further harm. But this I KNOW, I would be wrong if I did not ask Him to control this situation that has been out of control for too long. If you feel this is wrong or against your code of beliefs, then don't worry about it. It's just words to you. If you feel that this is right, please join me in this prayer. It can't hurt and God willing, it might help.

I'm happy to report

I think Mr. Website Guy is a step ahead of me in the doing nice things game. He's been very attentive these past few days. I better get with it!